


Snake in the Grass

by Strummer_Pinks



Category: David Attenborough Nature Documentaries, Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, The Blue Planet (TV 2001)
Genre: M/M, Nature Documentary! Crowley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:49:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27879398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strummer_Pinks/pseuds/Strummer_Pinks
Summary: The Good Omens- David Attenborough nature documentary crossover you didn’t know you needed!
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), David Attenborough/Nature
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first in what is a new fandom for me!  
> Please be gentle!
> 
> XXXX

This story occurs after the events of “Good Omens”

Perhaps it might come as a surprise that one of the primary architects of the cherry blossoms in the Garden of Eden didn’t actually care much for nature in its wild, untamed state, but then again, there was not much about Aziraphale, former angel and original owner of the world’s most famous flaming sword that was what one might suppose. It was one of the many things Crowley liked about him. 

There were many characteristics mortals assumed angels possessed. Modern humans frequently characterized Heaven as mainly populated by ethereal golden haired women, harp enthusaists or white gown wearing sexless creatures with a fondness for Grecian sandals, but Aziraphale was none of those things. Human sorts of people thought that when angels appeared to them in disguise, they’d go for the popular, “stranger from strange land in search of hospitality at some suitably desert adjacent village” get-up or the picturesque homeless chap who taught the grinchy city lady the “true meaning of Christmas” in one of those TV specials— also not Aziraphale. 

That Aziraphale was so unlike central casting’s concept of what an angel should be was perhaps why Crowley loved him so much. 

In fact the only really angelic giveaway with Aziraphale was his innocence. Like a small child, he was always quick to think the best of other people and to believe what they said, instead for looking for lies and exaggerations Crowley knew were always there. Aziraphale laughed at little things that others took for granted. He’d lived on Earth for thousands of years, but earthlings still managed to surprise and delight him and he marvelled at the marks of their cleverness at every turn. 

Unlike the sort of angels who remained above in the heavens, he didn’t, in fact, couldn’t look down his nose at humanity. Still, that did little to explain his sense of wonder at all their charming little idiosincracies. Sometimes Crowley found the way Aziraphale fawned over the humans like a proud father a little nauseating. But then his kind did tend to be the jealous sort. And perhaps he gloating just a little at the depth of poor Aziraphale’s innocent disappointment when they treated each other poorly as Crowley knew they would. 

But Crowley would never have wish Aziraphale to be any other way. He loved his angel for being so exquisitely and unselfconsciously himself. 

When he’d made Aziraphale the Ineffable One had clearly broken the mold. And what’s more, Aziraphale pranced around like a being who was either unaware that such a mold existed and that he should have been bound to it, or else didn’t give a fig for any of this being-of-the-moldiness business to begin with. Although Aziraphale said he’d been exiled to Earth to look after the mortals, as punishment for the whole “giving away the sword incident,”Crowley, who had been an angel at one point, thought that was just the excuse the rest of the heavenly host had given him. Someone like Aziraphale, he was certain, would have made a prick like Gabriel distinctly uncomfortable. He was just too forgiving, too unjudgemental. It didn’t do in certain circles and made the head brass look bad.


	2. Chapter 2

For Crowley, one of the original rebel angels, there was nothing more punk than this grown ass man in his buttoned up plaid mackintosh and neatly fastened galoshes, sitting in his dingy bookshop in Soho, completely unaware (or was he really— could even an angel be that ridiculously innocent) that everyone thought he worked in a porn shop, just going about his business while in the process thumbing his nose at the entire cottery of angels and demons in both heaven and hell. 

Really their continued unruffled existence, that of both himself and Aziraphale, that is, in the mortal realm was an affront to their respective agencies, a black eye for Hell and a failure of Heaven that so liked to categorize things into neat little sections. So unlike the messy business of biology here on Earth itself, where even animal species weren’t always as distinct from each other as people supposed. Earth creatures, unlike those in Heaven or Hell had an annoying tendency, like all sexually breeding creatures to start as one thing upon creation, only to end up as some entirely different sort of animal a few million years down the line. You’d blink and they’d go all liminal on you and slip into something else, when given half a chance. No one did mutability like a mortal. 

However, Crowley himself, having “gone native” in his time on Earth, as the politically incorrect humans of the pinkish variety used to say, was no slouch in the slippage department. After all he was a snake. 

Being slidey and slithery, all smirks and smiles as he slipped his winding way through the cracks of human societies was what Crowley did best. 

While Aziraphale was fastidious and law abiding, preferring to remain in the far background of human affairs, Crowley tended to ooze into the edges of the frame, craving the cameo and his own occasional bit of the spotlight. Oh, he never wished to monopolize the full glare of fame, he was too conscious of his position, and too snakelike in his habits to crave it. He was a being of the shadows and camouflage if he was anything, but he did harbour a secret weakness for making guest appearances on television. 


End file.
